Coke, flames and big fat toads

In her Thrifty Gardener book, Alys Fowler recommends using Coca-Cola for killing off weeds in pavement cracks. Now, I have a particularly evil dandelion nestled in a crack outside my front door, so I bought some cola and applied it liberally.

Nothing. Nada. Dandelion thriving, growing even.

Damn you, Fowler!

Now here's the question - is it something specifically in Coke that kills weeds as opposed to the cheapo 39p Tesco own brand bottle I bought? Or is it one of those old wives tales that persists despite being useless, like knotting daffodil leaves after flowering? What about Diet Coke? My colleague Lia Leendertz tells me Coke is also supposed to remove limescale from toilets too but that didn't work for her either - just made the bowl brown.

Maybe it's all part of some cunning marketing ploy by Coke PR people looking to expand their market into new terrain, ie people with weed and/or limescale issues.

Anyway, I now have half a bottle of flat cheap cola sitting in my porch and I am going to be getting out my weed wand for a bit of late night flame throwing. This method definitely does work, although with something as pernicious as dandelions you need to keep at it for several weeks in a row. At least it puts the fear of god into any local ne'er-do-wells who happen to wander past after dark and see me laughing maniacally while prancing around crispy dandelion leaves and cackling "die, you bastards, die!"

Speaking of pernicious weeds, there are plans afoot to release a new biological control to deal with Japanese knotweed. This stuff is evil incarnate so I can see the attraction, but I'd urge caution: remember Toadzilla, folks...

Comments

[emma t]

Ha ha ha. What about just switching organic gardener - Bob Flowerdew recommends boiling water, just like you would for ants, straight out the kettle, for plants between cracks. Tell me if it works!

[emma t]

Ps I have just read your japanese knotweed link and it is dreadful... did you see the fact that because it reproduces by breaking into tiny weeny bits that spread underground every single japanese knotweed plant is in fact part of one original japanese parent? That is One Big Mother.

[Patrick]

I've never heard of Coke for weeds, but I doubt it would work. I can't imagine there's any difference between brand name or house brand.

I've also never had any luck with weed burners for established weeds, it just burns the top off and you can do that easier with a scraping tool in less time and with fewer fossil fuels. Weed burners work great for weeds just starting to grow that aren't yet established.

For tap root weeds like dandelions, a good dose of salt is supposed to work, but be careful not to kill any other plants with it. It also works better if you get it down at the root as much as possible. Boiling water also sounds worth trying, but that too will need to get down to the root.

[Emma]

It's probably the acid in the Coke that's supposed to do the trick. If it's for weeds in paths then you could just liberally apply salt - or wee on them, which is supposed to be too much for most plants (although several applications might be needed for toughies!).

[Woody Wilbury]

Be sure to alert the local ne'er-do-wells if you propose weeing on them (the plants, that is), or choose a VERY dark night.

[Patrick Vickery]

Cola definately has something in it. Have you tried immersing a coin - 2p or 1p is best - in a glass of it. You end up with a very shiny coin!
As for the weedkilling with a weed burning stick/flame thrower. Fantastic.Did you ever read 'Rural Rambling 5' , I wonder, all about the joys and dangers of weedkilling with a flame thrower.

[Matron]

I agree, caution is needed when considering bringing in an exotic invasive species of any plant or insect. We just don't know what it will do to our native plants and insects. But now is the time of year to cut the knotweed down and inject the stems with poison.

[Patrick]

What Emma said reminded me someone recently mentioned using vinegar against weeds. It raises the acidity of the soil beyond the range most plants can tolerate.

The problem is it will raise the acidity of the surrounding area, so you can't use it near any plants you don't want to kill. It's useful along rural driveways and paths, but not so useful for us city dwellers.

[Jane Perrone]

Patrick V, will go and find your flame throwing rambling. I've done it in flip flops before and almost lived to regret it ...

Seeing as the offending weed is right outside my front door and I live on a fairly busy road, I think I'll pass on the wee option Woody ...

[emma townshend]

I say [again] try boiling water! it won't permanently change the soil either (though it might kill some mycorrhizae)

anyway what's this about a cats and antifreeze joke?

[Jane Perrone]

Emma, I am going home now to put the kettle on and drown that (now ashy) bugger! Will let you know how I (and the dandelion) get on.

[VP]

Boiling water's the method of choice for me. You need to do it several times, but it's good for spot weeding in tight corners and works really well on my patio.

[littlegreenfingers]

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http://www.littlegreenfingers.org.uk/

[Allotment Blogger]

I'd always take the boiling water route first. One thing that I have tried with paving and had some success with, if the kettle-christening doesn't work, is sprinkling a few granules of washing soda into the crack in the paving before pouring on the boiling water. It seems that the soda crystals change the ph of the soil enough to prevent the plant recovering from its hot water dousing.

[alys]

It's coke and sun. Not coke and grey autumn skies. You need to do it in summer and then I promise it works.

[themanicgardener]

All these sensible people leaving sensible suggestions, and all I want is a YouTube video of you prancing about cackling "Die, dandelion, die!" What is wrong with me?
--Kate

[Jane Perrone]

Alys, I withdraw my damnation immediately. Loved your book BTW.

Guess I will just have to try again next summer. Still curious to know how it works though.

Funnily enough, post-cola and weed wanding, there's no sign of the blighter regrowing.

Kate: nothing wrong with you. I really should get my own YouTube channel - there was a (quince) jelly straining incident last night that was YouTube gold.

[Teak Bench Guy]

Hi

Interesting link to that flame thrower. There is a product called the sheen flame gun which is a much more heavy duty affair, but the one you link to seems ideal for small areas..

[emma townshend]

"flame thrower suitable for small areas" seems .... oxymoronic?

[Shazia]

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